Let's be honest...

Let’s be honest. My mom isn’t a yoga person. She’s been talking about starting classes for approximately six years. I think at this point, she should just nix the idea once and for all. She “planned” on taking prenatal yoga, that didn’t happen. Then thought she could make up for it by taking mommy-baby yoga, which again, failed. And now that I don’t like staying in one spot for longer than 15 seconds and prefer making tons of noise rather than quietly centering my core, yoga wouldn’t include me, so it’s back to plain old yoga for adults. My mom thinks yoga fits into the “cool young mom” category, which is what she’s going for. I hear it often when she’s shopping for clothes, “is this good weekend wear that says I’m a ‘cool young mom?’” On the rare occasion that she and my dad go out or she has a night with the girls, she’ll ask, “do I look like a cool hot mom?” Apparently taking yoga would further promote her ideal “cool young mom.” But let’s face it. Yoga isn’t for her. It’s not our [the Stansfield’s] style. When we relax and “center” ourselves to find our “inner-peace” (or whatever it is you do in yoga) it typically involves sitting on the back porch with a glass of wine, beer or milk and a book, or lounging on our big comfy couch watching our giganto t.v. Okay, really anything that involves sitting (or being lazy) will suffice. I think it’s fair to assume that because my mom has been talking about taking up yoga since 2006, it’s not going to happen. I’ll tell you what does make her a cool young mom though. She takes me running with Bear and doesn’t wear mom jeans and most recently, started learning to play the ukulele while I practice my awesome tambourine and maraca skills. We rocked out last night to some Wilco, Woody Guthrie and Willie Nelson. Next up is Paul Simon. We actually had a skype sing-a-long session with my Grandad and Grandma Marcie. Did some “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” which is my personal favorite. The Old Town School of Music is where we belong. Not at some urban yoga place filled with wealthy, overly happy, peaceful, super skinny moms who have full-time nannies and single 20-somethings who do yoga to sweat out last nights’ intake of alcoholic beverages. Okay, so maybe that was an example of thoughts you’re supposed to keep to yourself, but I just say it as I see it. I’m only one – I’m not at the age of sugar coating things yet, and don’t know that I ever will, seeing as my mom and dad are pretty blunt, opinionated people. I’m sure you all have, at one point or another, incurred the wrath of a truly honest kid – if you have a pimple on your face or you’re wearing pants that are too tight or we don’t like the way your hair looks, we are going to let you know and we won’t cushion it with knee pads to help with the impact. Anyhow, back to how my mom is pretty awesome. Every Sunday morning I get to fo to the Old Town School of Music with my mom to play ukuleles, shake all sorts of noise makers, dance and sing with other people my size. That’s our style, and sometimes a mimosa and nap follows, which sounds much more fun than this yoga business. Until next time.